The Roots of Shame
Laila Narsi explores the experience of shame and how mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness can change how we meet it.
By Laila Narsi
Published
Brené Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” Similarly, Chris Germer describes shame as “the emotion that arises when we believe we are too flawed to be loved and accepted by others.” Love and belonging are fundamental human needs, which is why shame feels so devastating. Dr. Germer goes on to describe shame as a “sticky” emotion.The idea that we are unworthy of love and belonging typically originates in early childhood, as a result of criticism or affection that is contingent on our behavior. If we are given the message by our parents, teachers, community, culture, or other important…